The Comedy Basement 
Pluto (Dwarf Planet)

In 2006, The International Astronomical Union re-classified the one-time planet of Pluto as a newly renamed "Dwarf Planet" due to its inability to meet the requirements of what a planet in the solar system should be. This is how it all went down.

PLUTO: Earth, Mars... my two best friends in all the solar system, how's it going?

EARTH: (Sighs.) Look… Pluto, there's no easy way to say this but…

MARS: We're kicking you out of the planets.

PLUTO: Kicking me out the planets? (Laughs.) Oh very funny, guys. That… that is a good one.

EARTH: I'm afraid it's not a joke. You're just not pulling your own weight.

PLUTO: Not pulling my own weight? Come on... I'm a really small planet, I...

MARS: No, no... you're not a planet anymore.

PLUTO: Then what am I?

EARTH: We'll think of something

MARS: (Coughs.) Dwarf planet.

PLUTO: Did you say something, Mars?

MARS: Nope.

EARTH: I'm sorry Pluto, but... we're going to have to ask you to leave immediately.

MARS: Yeah, this is a "Planets Only" kinda meeting.

PLUTO: Can't you guys give me another chance? Maybe, we'll just call this a warning?

EARTH: You've already had several warnings.

PLUTO: What? No I didn't!

MARS: Yeah, we e-mailed them to you.

PLUTO: I never got any e-mails.

MARS: Did you check your junk folder?

PLUTO: I never check my junk folder. Nobody does!

MARS: Well they're probably in there.

PLUTO: This is kind of unfair.

MARS: Not our problem.

EARTH: And before you go, we're going to have to ask you to give us back the jacket.

PLUTO: Really? Ah man, come on… I love this jacket so much. It's a great conversation starter.

EARTH: I'm sorry but rules are rules.

PLUTO: I can't believe this

(Pluto sighs and reluctantly takes off the jacket and hands it back to Earth.)

MARS: And your Cosco membership card!

PLUTO: Really? Can't I just keep it another week? I'm building a deck in my backyard and was hoping to pick up some patio furniture…

MARS: Just give me the card.

PLUTO: (Sighs.) Ridiculous.

(Pluto hands over his Cosco card and Mars cuts it up with a pair of scissors.)

PLUTO: This is really humiliating... you know they named a Disney character after me?

MARS: So what? They named the best selling candy bar of all time after me... and Earth - he's got people living on him!!

PLUTO: Well I've always preferred the Snickers bar and two of Earth's people are Spencer Pratt and Jon Gosselin... so just think about that for a second.

EARTH: Megan Fox, Barack Obama, Brad Pitt, Eminem, Beyonce, the guy who played Borat and... The Rock.

MARS: More than makes up for Spencer and Jon and Kate Plus 8, you think?

PLUTO: Yeah... I guess so....can we at least still be friends?

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