The Comedy Basement 
Winston Kills Nelson

(Nelson accidentally bumps into Winston outside a shopping mall.)

NELSON: Oops, sorry about that.

WINSTON: Hey you… yeah, that's right.. You! You mother fucker, you stole all my nuggets and then you took a poop on my lawn. A bastard is what you are. I… I should call the police on you, SWAT team or something, come down here and bust a whole round of caps in your asshole. What you got to say about that?

NELSON: I really don't know what you're talking about… what… what happened to your pants?

WINSTON: My pants?

NELSON: Yeah, you don't seem to be wearing any. I have some extra shorts if you…

WINSTON: I do not need any shorts. I'm fine right here in my underwear. It's got cartoon dinosaurs on it, you see?

NELSON: Yeah, I can see. What is that, a triceratops?

WINSTON: I have no idea. Never stayed in school long enough to learn about dinosaurs.

NELSON: Don't they teach you that in like, grade two?

WINSTON: How would I know?! I dropped out in grade one.


WINSTON: Fuck you.

NELSON: What did I do?

WINSTON: You're alive.


WINSTON: Arghhhhhhhhhh!!!

(Winston kills Nelson.) 

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