The Comedy Basement 

MAX: Hey man, you know all those old toys I keep in my closet?
BRAD: Yeah.

MAX: Well, I think they’re coming alive.

BRAD: That’s strange. What makes you say that?

MAX: Well, a few nights ago, I woke up and my old Kermit the Frog doll was laying in my bed beside me.

BRAD: And you don’t normally sleep with it?

MAX: Dude, I’m 27 years old!

BRAD: Well, what else happened?

MAX: I woke up another time and noticed that my desk was entirely surrounded by G.I. Joe’s.... and they were watching porn on my computer.

BRAD: That’s odd behaviour for a toy.

MAX: I know, right? It’s really starting to freak me out! This morning I almost pissed all over my Hulk Hogan pillow buddy.

BRAD: (Shocked) It was in the toilet?

MAX: No, it was in my bed.

BRAD: (Laughs) Alright, I’ve heard enough. Your toys aren’t coming alive. I’ve been sneaking into your room at night and leaving them all over the place to give you a scare. Sorry.

MAX: Oh, so you were the one who put Kermit and Hulk Hogan in my bed?

BRAD: Yes.

MAX: And you were the one who watched porn with the G.I. Joes?

BRAD: That is correct.

MAX: So then you were the one who stuck that Ninja Turtle up my butt?

(Long, awkward pause)

BRAD: Dude, I think your toys are totally coming alive. 


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