The Comedy Basement
Toys
MAX: Hey man, you know all those old toys I keep in my closet?
BRAD: Yeah.
MAX: Well, I think they’re coming alive.
BRAD: That’s strange. What makes you say that?
MAX: Well, a few nights ago, I woke up and my old Kermit the Frog doll was laying in my bed beside me.
BRAD: And you don’t normally sleep with it?
MAX: Dude, I’m 27 years old!
BRAD: Well, what else happened?
MAX: I woke up another time and noticed that my desk was entirely surrounded by G.I. Joe’s.... and they were watching porn on my computer.
BRAD: That’s odd behaviour for a toy.
MAX: I know, right? It’s really starting to freak me out! This morning I almost pissed all over my Hulk Hogan pillow buddy.
BRAD: (Shocked) It was in the toilet?
MAX: No, it was in my bed.
BRAD: (Laughs) Alright, I’ve heard enough. Your toys aren’t coming alive. I’ve been sneaking into your room at night and leaving them all over the place to give you a scare. Sorry.
MAX: Oh, so you were the one who put Kermit and Hulk Hogan in my bed?
BRAD: Yes.
MAX: And you were the one who watched porn with the G.I. Joes?
BRAD: That is correct.
MAX: So then you were the one who stuck that Ninja Turtle up my butt?
(Long, awkward pause)
BRAD: Dude, I think your toys are totally coming alive.
Copyright © The Comedy Basement 2010
MAX: Hey man, you know all those old toys I keep in my closet?
BRAD: Yeah.
MAX: Well, I think they’re coming alive.
BRAD: That’s strange. What makes you say that?
MAX: Well, a few nights ago, I woke up and my old Kermit the Frog doll was laying in my bed beside me.
BRAD: And you don’t normally sleep with it?
MAX: Dude, I’m 27 years old!
BRAD: Well, what else happened?
MAX: I woke up another time and noticed that my desk was entirely surrounded by G.I. Joe’s.... and they were watching porn on my computer.
BRAD: That’s odd behaviour for a toy.
MAX: I know, right? It’s really starting to freak me out! This morning I almost pissed all over my Hulk Hogan pillow buddy.
BRAD: (Shocked) It was in the toilet?
MAX: No, it was in my bed.
BRAD: (Laughs) Alright, I’ve heard enough. Your toys aren’t coming alive. I’ve been sneaking into your room at night and leaving them all over the place to give you a scare. Sorry.
MAX: Oh, so you were the one who put Kermit and Hulk Hogan in my bed?
BRAD: Yes.
MAX: And you were the one who watched porn with the G.I. Joes?
BRAD: That is correct.
MAX: So then you were the one who stuck that Ninja Turtle up my butt?
(Long, awkward pause)
BRAD: Dude, I think your toys are totally coming alive.
Copyright © The Comedy Basement 2010
