The Comedy Basement
The Creepy Janitor
(The Creepy Janitor is the store stock room sweeping when he is approached by an attractive looking girl - an employee who works in sales.)
HOT SALES GIRL: You're a real creep, you know?
CREEPY JANITOR: (Looks around.) Who me?
HOT SALES GIRL: Yes, you. I know that you've been staring at my ass!
CREEPY JANITOR: (Shocked.) What? That's absurd. I respect women.
HOT SALES GIRL: Really? Well I have video footage that proves otherwise. Hold on.
(The Hot Sales Girl disappears for a moment and returns wheeling in a television and VCR set. She inserts a video tape into the VCR and turns on the TV.)
HOT SALES GIRL: Watch this.
The Creepy Janitor is mopping an empty aisle on the sales floor. Hot Sales Girl walks by and he stops to stare at her ass.
HOT SALES GIRL: You should be ashamed of yourself.
CREEPY JANITOR: I don't know, that footage was pretty blurry. I'm not even sure it was me on the tape. Could've been another janitor.
HOT SALES GIRL: Are you crazy? You're the only janitor who wears a monocle and has that steep of a widow's peak. It was obviously you!
CREEPY JANITOR: I'm gonna need to see more footage then.
HOT SALES GIRL: Fine. Be sure to take a closer look this time.
The Creepy Janitor is collecting garbage from a sales floor as Hot Sales Girl walks by and bends over to pick up a box. The Creepy Janitor stares intensely at her ass while licking his lips.
HOT SALES GIRL: I don't know what else you could possibly say. The janitor in that video was clearly you. He was wearing a monocle and had a very noticeable widow's peak.
CREEPY JANITOR: Ahhh, but there's no way of telling if that monocle wearin', widow's peek sportin' janitor in the video has a Wynonna Judd tattoo, which I do. I'm gonna need to see if the janitor in that video has a Wynonna Judd tattoo before we can determine if it's me or not.
HOT SALES GIRL: I don't see how that makes a difference, but whatever. (Sighs.) I was hoping it wouldn't come to this.
Hot Sales Girl walk out of the women's washroom. After she leaves, a large vent located to the right of the bathroom door pops open and the Creepy Janitor climbs out wearing nothing but tighty-whitie underwear which allows the camera to get a clear shot of the Wynonna Judd tattoo on his inner right thigh.
HOT SALES GIRL: I want you to know that I'll be getting a restraining order against you.
CREEPY JANITOR: Awww, come on! I was just havin' a little fun.
HOT SALES GIRL: Well all that fun is going to get your ass fired.
CREEPY JANITOR: What? For that? That was nothing!
HOT SALES GIRL: That was sexual harassment.
CREEPY JANITOR: (Smiles creepily.) Ooohhhh yeahhh.
HOT SALES GIRL: That's not a good thing!
CREEPY JANITOR: Hey baby, all I heard you say was sex and ass, and that's definitely a good thing!
(The Creepy Janitor drops his pants.)
CREEPY JANITOR: Me and Wynonna got pretty excited, so why don't you join the two of us for a little three-way action in the ladies room…. What do ya say?
HOT SALES GIRL: (Disgusted.) I'm calling security.
(Hot Sales Girl angrily storms off. The Creepy Janitor checks out her ass as she walks away.)
HOT SALES GIRL: (Yelling.) You're a creep!
CREEPY JANITOR: What? That's absurd. I respect women.
Copyright © The Comedy Basement 2009