The Comedy Basement 
The Creepy Janitor

(The Creepy Janitor is the store stock room sweeping when he is approached by an attractive looking girl - an employee who works in sales.)

HOT SALES GIRL: You're a real creep, you know?

CREEPY JANITOR: (Looks around.) Who me?

HOT SALES GIRL: Yes, you. I know that you've been staring at my ass!

CREEPY JANITOR: (Shocked.) What? That's absurd. I respect women.

HOT SALES GIRL: Really? Well I have video footage that proves otherwise. Hold on.

(The Hot Sales Girl disappears for a moment and returns wheeling in a television and VCR set. She inserts a video tape into the VCR and turns on the TV.)

HOT SALES GIRL: Watch this.

The Creepy Janitor is mopping an empty aisle on the sales floor. Hot Sales Girl walks by and he stops to stare at her ass.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

CREEPY JANITOR: I don't know, that footage was pretty blurry. I'm not even sure it was me on the tape. Could've been another janitor.

HOT SALES GIRL: Are you crazy? You're the only janitor who wears a monocle and has that steep of a widow's peak. It was obviously you!

CREEPY JANITOR: I'm gonna need to see more footage then.

HOT SALES GIRL: Fine. Be sure to take a closer look this time.

The Creepy Janitor is collecting garbage from a sales floor as Hot Sales Girl walks by and bends over to pick up a box. The Creepy Janitor stares intensely at her ass while licking his lips.

HOT SALES GIRL: I don't know what else you could possibly say. The janitor in that video was clearly you. He was wearing a monocle and had a very noticeable widow's peak.

CREEPY JANITOR: Ahhh, but there's no way of telling if that monocle wearin', widow's peek sportin' janitor in the video has a Wynonna Judd tattoo, which I do. I'm gonna need to see if the janitor in that video has a Wynonna Judd tattoo before we can determine if it's me or not.

HOT SALES GIRL: I don't see how that makes a difference, but whatever. (Sighs.) I was hoping it wouldn't come to this.

Hot Sales Girl walk out of the women's washroom. After she leaves, a large vent located to the right of the bathroom door pops open and the Creepy Janitor climbs out wearing nothing but tighty-whitie underwear which allows the camera to get a clear shot of the Wynonna Judd tattoo on his inner right thigh.

HOT SALES GIRL: I want you to know that I'll be getting a restraining order against you.

CREEPY JANITOR: Awww, come on! I was just havin' a little fun.

HOT SALES GIRL: Well all that fun is going to get your ass fired.

CREEPY JANITOR: What? For that? That was nothing!

HOT SALES GIRL: That was sexual harassment.

CREEPY JANITOR: (Smiles creepily.) Ooohhhh yeahhh.

HOT SALES GIRL: That's not a good thing!

CREEPY JANITOR: Hey baby, all I heard you say was sex and ass, and that's definitely a good thing!

(The Creepy Janitor drops his pants.)

CREEPY JANITOR: Me and Wynonna got pretty excited, so why don't you join the two of us for a little three-way action in the ladies room…. What do ya say?

HOT SALES GIRL: (Disgusted.) I'm calling security.

(Hot Sales Girl angrily storms off. The Creepy Janitor checks out her ass as she walks away.)

HOT SALES GIRL: (Yelling.) You're a creep!

CREEPY JANITOR: What? That's absurd. I respect women. 

                                                                                              Copyright © The Comedy Basement 2009