The Comedy Basement 

(Blaine Harrison and his date, an attractive woman in her early 20's walk down a dark back alley where they come face to face with a dangerous looking street gang.)

GANG LEADER: Give us all your money and nobody gets hurt.

(Blaine runs a hand along his stubble covered cheek and smiles cunningly.)

BLAINE: Not on my watch.

(Blaine pushes his lady friend to the side and attacks the street gang, using his very prickly facial stubble as a weapon. He expertly swings his head back and forth, dodging and ducking, making sure to hit each gang member with a lethal stubble shot for quick elimination. After about 30 seconds of fighting, it is down to two men: Blaine and the Gang Leader himself.)

GANG LEADER: Not too shabby.

(The Gang Leader pulls a switch blade knife out from his jacket.)

GANG LEADER: But it looks like your luck is about to run out.

(Smiling handsomely.) Who ever said anything about luck?

(The Gang Leader laughs and then charges at Blaine, who cleverly avoids him with a well planned-out sidestep, followed by a quick and forceful stubble shot to his neck. The Gang Leader drops the knife and slowly collapses to the ground, clutching his throat.)

GANG LEADER: (Groaning.) The stubble… you bastard.

(The Gang Leader dies.)

WOMAN:(Impressed.) Oh my god, Blaine. I never knew you had that in you.

BLAINE: Well… sometimes a man's got to use the gifts that God gave him to kick some low life ass

WOMAN: Well maybe you should take me back to your place so I can show you the gifts that God gave me!

BLAINE: I will, but… I should probably shave first. Things could get… dangerous.

WOMAN: Don't worry. I like it a little rough... stubble man.

(They kiss each other passionately until Blaine pauses, looks dashingly into the camera and winks.)

BLAINE: I am Stubble-Man. 

                                                                                              Copyright © The Comedy Basement 2009