The Comedy Basement 
Smoking is Cool

(Jones runs into his friend Nick, who is standing outside a building smoking a cigarette.)

JONES: Hey there Nick.

NICK: Hey Jonesie.

JONES: That's funny, I didn't know you smoked.

NICK: Yep... it's the best.

JONES: Really? I always heard it was really unhealthy.

NICK: (Shrugs.) Who cares. It makes me look cool.

JONES: Well I disagree.

NICK: Oh yeah?

JONES: Yeah.

(A man in a suit approaches carrying. He is carrying an expensive briefcase.)

MAN IN SUIT: Excuse me gentlemen, but I represent a dying billionaire who has absolutely no benefactors and he has instructed me to simply walk outside onto the streets of Portage la Prairie and give this briefcase full of money to the coolest person I can find.

JONES: That's insane.

MAN IN SUIT: (Laughs.) Then you must already know my client...

(Momentary silence.)

MAN IN SUIT: Anyway... by looking at the both of you, I can see that one of you is definitely cool.

JONES: That's weird because we were...

MAN IN SUIT: (Interrupting.) Yeah, I pick the guy who's smoking.

(The man in the suit hands Nick the briefcase and leaves.)

NICK: Cool.

(Nick opens the briefcase and immediately begins to bathe in the money.)

JONES: I hate this city so much. 
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