The Comedy Basement 
Monster Mash - Part 1: The Monster 
(A mad scientist and his assistant, Igor work in his lab late one night.)

MAD SCIENTIST: So did you watch America's Next Top Model this week?

IGOR: I did not, master.

MAD SCIENTIST: Oh well, I still have it saved on my PVR if you're interested.

IGOR: I don't watch it.

MAD SCIENTIST: Ah well, just trying to make conversation. You're becoming very difficult to talk to, you know?

(Igor suddenly becomes frightened.)

MAD SCIENTIST: What's wrong with you? Relax, I'm not that angry. I mean, I know I can be pretty tough sometimes but...

IGOR: (Interrupting.) Master... look behind you!!

(The mad scientist turns and gasps as his eyes behold an eerie sight – the monster he had previously been working on begins to rise from its slab.)


MONSTER: Argghhhhh!!!

(The monster stumbles towards them, knocking over everything in its path. Both men are scared and hide under a table.)

MAD SCIENTIST: Igor, I never told you how much I appreciated your work.

IGOR: Thank you, master.

MAD SCIENTIST: And all with such a horrible hunchback disfigurement... you're a real trooper.

MONSTER: Arrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!!!

(The monster is getting closer.)

MAD SCIENTIST: It's been nice knowing you.

(The monster knocks over the table and a stereo that was on it accidentally begins to play.)

MAD SCIENTIST: Oooh, what is this? Usher?


(The monster stops its' destruction and suddenly, to the mad scientist's surprise, starts to dance.)

MAD SCIENTIST: Holy shit – he's dancing!

(The monster continues dancing happily around the laboratory.)

MAD SCIENTIST: This is incredible! He's doing the mash... the... the monster mash!!

IGOR: It will a graveyard smash!

MAD SCIENTIST: Quick – Igor, alert everyone. Call the vampires, who for some reason are feasting in my master bedroom and also the ghouls – those ghouls really need to get out! Tell them there is a great party tonight in my laboratory in the castle east. And to B.Y.O.B.... I'm not made of money, you know!

IGOR: What should I tell them, master?

MAD SCIENTIST: Tell them that if they want to get a jolt from the electrodes in my lab, they should come to this party. It will be a blast!

IGOR: Master... being jolted by electrodes does not sound very appealing. It can actually be quite painful – I should know. Perhaps you should say something else... something more inviting?

MAD SCIENTIST: That is a good point. Maybe just tell them that we have Beatles Rock Band then.

IGOR: Much better, master.

MAD SCIENTIST: And also invite the zombies and the wolfman.

IGOR: And what about Dracula?

MAD SCIENTIST: Hmmm. Well, he's going to want to bring his son along, so...

IGOR: His son is a spoiled brat, master.

MAD SCIENTIST: Yeah, forget them.

IGOR: (Smiles.) You know what, master?


IGOR: I think this is going to be the best party ever!

MAD SCIENTIST: Me too, Igor... me too.

To read Part 2, click

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