The Comedy Basement
A Letter To Michael Bublé
Dear Michael Bublé,
I am writing you this letter because I am one of your biggest fans. I am not familiar with your music, but am told you are very similar to Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. I do not know who those men are. Do they sound anything like Yanni? I wrote him a letter last month but he has yet to respond. He is an amazing pianist/keyboardist. Do you play the keyboard? If so, I would like it very much if you could send me a picture of yourself playing the keyboard, just so I can know for sure if you can in fact play the keyboard.
I know you probably think I am crazy for writing to you, but just because I am not familiar with your music, it doesn't mean I am not familiar with you as a person. I once read in an interview that you smoked weed. Is that true? I have never smoked weed but wouldn't mind trying it someday. Do you know where I can find some? My friend Larry says he knows a guy but I don't believe him because I am pretty sure that I am his only friend. He probably just told me that to sound cool. What a loser! I have two other friends and he has just one – ME!!!! That sucker.
I also know that you dated that girl from The Devil Wears Prada. I forget what her name is. I thought she was very funny in that movie. Are you funny? I bet you are. You seem like a real trickster, like that time you got mad at the Grammy people for not presenting your award on the actual show. I bet that was all a joke. Was it on an episode of Punk'd that I perhaps missed? Ashton Kutcher is hilarious! Have you ever met him? He was the guy on That 70's Show and the movie The Butterfly Effect. It was a weird movie. I was confused right from the start. I have since watched it another 23 times and I still do not know what is happening. I think Ashton Kutcher should stick to comedies because he is the funniest man in the world and his drama movies are just confusing. If you ever see her again, tell your girlfriend from The Devil Wears Prada that I said hello.
Oh yeah, in that article that I read where you said you smoked weed, you also said that you liked the band Audioslave. Did you know they broke up? Sorry if I am the one breaking this news to you. I hope you aren't too sad by it but you really shouldn't be sad – You're Michael Bublé!!! Hey, does your name in French mean bubbles? I really need to know the answer to that question.
You seem like a tough guy. Definitely tougher than Yanni. Do you watch wrestling? I do. My favorite wrestlers are The Undertaker and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. Who do you like? Did you ever watch WCW? Remember the nWo? They were such bad asses. You would have made an AWESOME nWo member. You even could have sung their entrance music. What a spectacle that would have been!!!!
Well, my mom needs to use the computer now so that she can talk to her boyfriend. He lives in Shreveport. They have never met but he promises that he will come visit soon. That's exciting. Maybe soon I will have a new Dad!!! I can't wait. Would you come to the wedding? I could use a friend there. I don't think I should invite Larry. He is a loser!!! Anyway, I have to go. Hope to hear from you soon. I love you.
Richard Elliott Grabowski
Copyright © The Comedy Basement 2009